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First Things First- Love Yourself.

First Things First- Love Yourself.

Before you can truly love anyone else, you need to learn how to love yourself. Sure, we've all heard it before, but how do you actually do it?

First things first, love yourself unconditionally ️and fall in love with yourself before anything else. 

Love begins inside of you and I, inside the womb space, inside the heart space, and inside the soul.

The mind judges and distorts and can keep you in your space of make-believe. I remember when I thought I was in love with a man- only I was really in love with the version of him in my mind. The reality was, I didn't know him that well. 

I thought it was love at first sight.

Love at first sight is more about infatuation than love. At least this is my interpretation now. In my mind when I met him, wow, he was so hot! We talked and talked. We had a lot of fun. Chemistry and connection was all present, only it didn't last.

If we could continue with the same connection months and years down the road, our life would have been different. What sort of love life do I desire? I've been asking this question to myself. The actual question I should ask myself is how can I fall in love with myself everyday? What does this feel like? What does it look like? How do I want to feel in love with myself? How do I love myself? How do I love other people? How do I love everything ?

As I sit here, enjoying the warmth of the sun, I let my mind wander; it occurs to me-

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In this moment everything is perfect, there's nowhere I need to be, nothing I need to do. If I had to, then I would do it. In the end nothing really matters for we are on this planet for a short time yet we spend so much time stressing and worrying. I recall when my marriage ended, I was so hurt and disappointed. It took a year for me to completely “recover” from the pain I felt.

When I look back now, a year is such a long time to get over anyone don’t you think? I did go out and meet guys only I still felt married as I wasn’t divorced and therefore couldn’t really enjoy myself. Have you ever felt that? The only way I “recovered” was by explaining my story in the form of a play.

I joined a theatre group at our community centre and slowly explained my story. The director didn’t put pressure on me to explain everything. I explained the easy parts of the 2 year marriage I had been in and as I felt more comfortable I explained the rest.

I felt hurt and betrayed for a lot of reasons. I had believed in the story of happily ever after and had not been with anyone apart from my ex, a story culturally sold to many girls.  So I felt “justified in my hurt” only everything happens for a reason. Now that I look back, I feel that if I had learnt the lessons from this breakup quickly and moved on the better it would have been for me. The mind is always telling us a story of why we should do this or why we shouldn’t do that. The truth is we often know deep within us what we need to do. I remember thinking a month before my breakup from my husband “when will this marriage end” only I never had the guts to end the marriage myself and left it for my ex to end. Can you relate to this ? We had a lot of fights. I never liked it when he got drunk and started banging his head on the wall. There were times I felt insecure as he lied to me on many occasions. The truth is you can only lie to yourself even though we feel that the other person is lying to us which they are only we are lying to ourselves as well by staying in the relationship. We are often in love with the image in our head of that person, we justify our behaviour, our partner’s behaviour and refuse to accept the truth only what’s the worst that can happen? We fantasy about how great things were when we were together only that’s the past and everyday is a new day. We get to choose how great our life will be or will not be. We can always end the relationship, end the hurt we feel after a breakup l, move forward and fall in love again ok? First things first, love yourself unconditionally & fall in love with yourself first.

I realize now there is no point in jealousy or obsession over a lover. Jealousy & obsession over a lover don’t make up love, for love needs to be free and caring. 

What are your thoughts? Do you truly love or are you just insecure within yourself ? 

Do you love yourself enough to walk away from a person you think you love, someone who has hurt you time & time again ? For all the reasons and stories you keep telling yourself to hold onto that person even though deep within you, you know you should let go & allow epic love into your life! Why you shouldn’t move on, why you should hold on, reasons, excuses,  and stories which keep you stuck and attract drama after drama ? This doesn’t just hurt you only this impacts everything and everyone around you, as everything is energy and we often forget this when are are upset, hurt or stuck in thoughts and feelings? If you truly love someone, be strong enough to walk away as jealousy or obsession over a lover doesn’t serve you. You can’t monitor what one does. Show yourself unconditional love and walk away from any situation that doesn’t serve you for your greater good. Self love is the answer. You can always fall in love again. The question is will you allow yourself to fall in love? Before falling in love with another, fall in love with yourself ️

We spend too much time stressing & worrying over a person we have loved or love, only time is precise. I felt my ex had cheated on me, although he never admitted it only that’s what I felt. Everything is energy and deep within us, we know what we need to do. The truth is it doesn’t matter. Life is precious. Let it go and live with love. The truth is if I had decided that I’ve had enough and I’m not putting up with this, my life would have been different now. I had to live and learn. The quicker you let go, the quicker your life will change, this has been a great learning for me. If you allow yourself to learn from the mistakes of others, you will “save” yourself from unnecessary pain and drama. We often as humans put ourselves through unnecessary pain don’t you think? Your mind can be great place not to hang out in. We often spend to much time thinking only are we thinking correctly? When we share with others, if we really want to change, that helps us see things differently as when we are in our head, things are cluttered and become scattered. Do yourself a favour and share your problems with another, or share with God and let it go. It is so much easier than stressing. Do you feel the relief in that? 

Love is within everything we see, smell, hear, feel and touch, the problem is we don’t realize this as we are stuck with a thought which may or may not be serving us. You can choose to let it go and decide to move forward 

If today was your last day, what would you do differently? Life is precious! First things first, love yourself unconditionally ️ & fall in love with yourself first  If you share from a place of love, your life will change and people will feel the new you. Be love, share love, radiate love. 

Try this when you are stuck in your head- 

Breathe.
When you are in your head,
Breathe.
When you are stressed,
Breathe.
What do you achieve by thinking, by stressing? 
Breath centers you, calms you.

 

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