A Reminder for Those Days
No matter how hard you try NOT to, some day, one of those days is going to track you down. You know, those days that just feel like crawling under a rock (if that is possible?) and shutting out the rest of the world. The days that start with stubbing your toe and end with sediment as you pour the last glass of Cab Sav into your glass.
Keeping in mind there are those days, and there is depression. I’m not writing about depression. If you can’t remember when you didn’t have one of those days you might want to explore this material.
Back to those days…
Something that’s far to easy for us humans to forget is that everyone has a list. Every single human bean has a big list of things that they don’t want to do, or maybe don’t want to face up to. On that list could be things too painful to consider, or things that invoke an almost uncontrollable rage. Yes folks, this is the shiz list and we all have one.
Have you ever noticed that on those days the list amplifies? It becomes suddenly important, and we may even feel ourselves doing a roll call of the list contents – why me? – it’s too much ! – how can a human possibly survive all of this stuff???
But you can
And you probably will
I have my own list ready and waiting for those days. When I’m really organised and on top of the world this list is also my daily practice. Daily practice and I have a lot of work to do, but while I work on that thought I’d share the list with you. It’s a list compiled through life experience, sage advice from my generous mentors and a whole lotta reading.
Let’s get to the point(s);
- Check in on your closest influences: Someone said the quality of your life is influenced by the 5 people you spend most of your time with. You’ll soak up the energy around you so make it positive and let it take you to where you are going – not where you are stuck. (and don’t get hung up on the number 5, maybe it’s 10 – think you get the point).
- Remove the drama: gossip, drama, white anting and the likes do nothing but destroy your life. Best place for such things is on TV. If there’s too much of it going on in your life tune into Home and Away and get your fix. Leave it there.
- Get outside: There’s something about the natural landscape that is so healing. My best days start with a walk along the dirt road near my house leading to the river. The gentle sounds of the breeze in the trees and the ocean in the background and the aroma of the red dirt and eucalyptus always gives me a sense of calm. Whatever is outside your door get out into it.
- Do something different: Do you have a regular bedtime? Drive the same way to work every day? Change it. Yes, it may seem inconvenient but you’ll be amazed how a small change can make an enormous difference.
- Press pause on your crutches: Pour a glass (or 3) of wine every evening? Eating too much? These could all be indicators of something you don’t want to face up to. What are you ignoring? What are you doing as you turn a blind eye to that thing? Remove the crutch – see what happens next.
- Be gentle: It’s far too easy to put pressure on ourselves in difficult times. Just don’t. It’s OK to have an off day. You don’t have to pull yourself up by the bootstraps, suck it up or keep a stiff upper lip. I’m a master of smiling my way through BS but something I’m just loving about getting older is learning that I don’t actually have to do that – you don’t either. Honesty builds more trusting relationships. Be gentle with yourself.
- Tell someone: Think you’ll be judged for having one of those days? For exhibiting signs of weakness or not wanting to bother people with your issues? Think about it this way… When you disclose your not so great day to someone you secretly give them permission to do the same on one of their not so excellent days. It’s that simple.
- Notice something beautiful: Even the most built environment contains an immense and intense amount of beauty. It’s all there, waiting for you to notice. The curl of an eyelash, a feather floating in the breeze, a smile, a laugh, a kind comment. Stop, notice it, soak it up – be as cynical as you like about this one but I dare you to do it and do it regularly, noticing will change your life.
- Think about tomorrow: Even the most troubled day is followed by another 1440 minutes, even though it may seem right now those minutes will be equally as gruelling maybe they won’t. It’s worth a look don’t you think?
- Express gratitude: Gratitude is very much in vogue right now and you don’t have to guess why. Expressing gratitude for the things in your life, no matter how hard on those days will bring you back to base. Doing this is your chance to claim and recognise the things that you value in your life and maybe you’ll even think about how you might go about turning up the volume on that – and turning down the volume on the other stuff…
Note: This is a republished article, originally published on www.kerrygrace.com.au